How To Have a Nervous Breakdown
"I'm not up to this. I'm not too bright."
Well of course you can!
It's an easier gig, and even someone like you can handle it.
Finding a manipulator is just like finding a mommy or daddy to take care of you for the rest of your life. They'll guide you, teach you to be like them, and punish you for doing things they don't like. Not a worry in the world for you! You'll know when it's bedtime, who your real friends are, what values you should hold dear, and like a child, you can play rebellion games against them just for fun! You get to be a kid all over again!
Follow these simple guidelines, and before long you'll be completely free of any individualism (what a bother), never have to decide for yourself what to do, or where to go. You'll have all new friends, and new hobbies your manipulator tells you you really enjoy!
The first step is convincing yourself you aren't worth anything. That's easy! Use the bad stuff that happened to you as a child. It's all your fault! Some kids beat you up? He knew you were worthless. Been assaulted? Heck, you asked for it! Mistreated by your parents? What do you expect being as pathetic as you are? Do drugs? You need guidance! Add it up, it means your not worth the value of the chemical compound of carbon-based life!
Look for someone who's not too smart, someone not too physically appealing,
and especially, someone emotionally immature. Someone who believes they are
just as worthless, but are in a bit more denial than you are. Someone you
can learn to love, but if they leave you, you really won't be hurt. That's
your mark. Tell them all the gory details of your past. Tell them you
always wished you could be like other people, but you're just so darned
messed-up you know no one could ever, really love you.
"Oh, I didn't know you liked Escher!"There, now you've got them. Try to be as much like them as you can. Doesn't matter what your interests were before. It's too much trouble to find stuff you like, just mimic them! They aren't as smart as you? Oh, come on! You aren't intelligent! You can work on their level easy. Any brainy ideas you have are useless. Good english? What a waste! It's better to talk like them, use their phrases, even develop a fondness for their sense of humor. If you think it's below you, you're just kidding yourself. Laugh it off, laugh it off with them! What were you thinking?
Are they an activist? Start giving to their favorite group, or go on a 'walk' to raise money for it. You two are so much alike!
Once you've learned all your new interests, dress, and don't forget musical tastes, then you have to start paying attention to their suggestions for what you want to do in life.
Keep it something close to home. Don't want to be wandering off on your own, now do you? The world's a big, mean, scary place and you're no match for it, so pick something the two of you can do together. Doesn't matter what, could be any home business, or project, just wait for their suggestion and don't look back. If it's something you don't really like, it's okay, you'll like it after awhile. Better you're safe and bored than taking risks in the outside world!
It's important that you never think back on any of the ideas you had on your own. Just strike them from your memory. None of the things you wanted to do would have worked anyway!
With these simple rules, you'll be able to find someone to control and manipulate, even use and abuse you, in no time! Remember, abuse is good, it's kinda kinky in a way, breaks the monotony of the having to be with someone who really doesn't do anything for you intellectually or physically. Anger and fear will substitute well for passion and desire when push, literally, comes to shove.
Enjoy your relationship! Let everyone know how pathetic it is. That's the
fun part, getting outsiders to feel sorry for you as well. Just like kids
complain about their parents, you can complain about your manipulator.
All the sympathy you get will make you feel even more worthless and just
tighten the bond between you two!