Life's Biggest Dissapointments

Posted by PhillC on January 26, 1999 at 16:53:27:

The fact that the glitter in Sparklicious Shower gel washes off under the water

That if you make yourself two pieces of toast, one with your favourite topping and the other with a bland but acceptable topping, that it is always the tasty one that falls face down into the dirt

The tasty things in the fridge always go off faster than the bottle of cocktail onions that you would not touch with a barge pole

Two words ''suede'' and ''rain''

The speakers always blow on your stereo after a big party but the bastard next door with a Hammond organ never experiences any technical difficulties

You only ever burn your favorite clothes with the iron. It never happens to unwanted gifts. This is also true for massive and irreperable tears, staining and button loss.

The night you spend laughing and smiling and flirting all evening is the night you get food caught in your teeth and no one tells you

Ken dolls are not anatomically correct - very frustrating if you are trying to change Barbie from a simpering half-wit into a woman of the world

For most people, all the partners, jobs, clothes, social events that are available to you lose value the minute you get them because humans like the getting more than the holding. Paradoxically we all yearn stability and tranquility and definate predictable outcomes. So either you walk alone, swimming ever forwards, like the shark, to stay alive; or you put down roots and resent the ties that bind you. It is hard to find a truly happy balanced person without fear, paranoia and envy and harder yet to form relationships, especially personal relationships, with structural integrity because of the kind of creatures that we are.

Also people who have no sense of wonderment or intellectual inquisitiveness about them are wasting our collective oxygen

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