My Magic Hat

Posted by Tuesday on February 26, 2006 at 14:11:59:

I was going skiing, so I bought an ugly hat. You know the ones with the ear flaps that tie and something poking out of the top - a ball, or in this case a braid? It was so ugly, I had to buy it. I didn't have a headband or one of those ear protectors that go behind your head, so ugly hat it was. When I got to the resort, it was warm, too warm for my hat. I tied it to my jacket incase I needed it later.
I wasn't there very long before I realized people were looking at me. A lot of people, not as a group, but scattered about, would look over at me and not look away. I thought maybe it was my new sunglasses. I left three pairs of sunglasses in the car when I caught the shuttle, so I had to buy a pair there. Maybe I resembled someone famous and the glasses made me look like I was attempting to be incognito? But, inside, without my glasses, people were still looking at me. Could I just resemble a lot of different people in some small way? Could something be awry with my appearance? I went in the ladies room to have a look in the mirror. Nope, there was no little alien sitting on my head waving.
I'm not exceptionally unattractive or attractive. Certainly not the prettiest girl at the place. I actually saw her. We crashed at the same spot a few times. Women are usually made out to be very competitive about looks, hating beautiful women, but in all actuality we sometimes, honestly, feel a little pity for the truly beautiful ones. We all know what too much attention is like. If you've ever dressed down to go grocery shopping, just so you aren't hit on, you have some sympathy for women who look as though they could barely make it to the door. This woman made Catherine Zeta Jones look like the girl-next-door. I imagine she had to send someone to the store for her.
Maybe, I thought, it was the ugly hat tied to my jacket? Maybe, the hat was so incredibly ugly, people were looking at me, its owner, wondering what I was thinking when I purchased it? As it grew colder, closer to dusk, I decided I should put on my ugly hat. Much to my surprise, I was instantly invisible. No one looked. Not a soul. I realized I own a magic hat. If I were a better person I would have searched out the beautiful woman and given it to her. She could probably use it more than I, but really, what woman doesn't want a magic, invisibility hat?

[ Dog-O-Matic essay board ]