I Want To Write

Posted by Katherine J. on October 13, 1998 at 11:14:40:

I want to write. I want to put my thoughts down on paper, type them on my computer, literally chisel them in stone if I have to. The medium does not matter.

I used to write. I wrote reports for history class. I wrote poetry for my high school creative writing class. I wrote short stories, abstracts, dissertations. During my senior year of high school, I became a Writing Tutor, helping other students sharpen their works, acting as a sounding board for ideas, sharpening my own skills. I wanted to go to college to learn how to be a writer. Writing was one of the few things I was really good at. It was how this shy teen-age girl could communicate with others. I dreamed about becoming a novelist or a journalist. To see my name on the cover of a book or as a by-line in a magazine or newspaper article was my ultimate goal. That was ten years ago.

I never made it to college. I married and gave birth to a son at the age of twenty-one. Over the years, I've kept house, I've worked at more than my fair share of bad jobs, and I even studied bookkeeping for a year. I got involved in the job of raising a child. My son is now in school all day. My husband has a decent job, and, though my job as a grocery store cashier is neither glamorous nor prestigious, the people who sign my paycheck every week are nice people to work for.

Lately, I've been hearing this voice. This voice says to me, "It's time to think about what you have missed in life. You're still young. You can do it." And I think to myself, "Yes, I can do it. It's what I want to do. It's what I've always wanted to do. It's not too late for me."

I may not get back to college. I do have a computer and my imagination. And in whatever spare time I can find, I sit in front of that computer. Watching the cursor blink rapidly against the white of the screen, I try to get those ideas that are swimming around in my head into some semblance of a story. Sometimes I get a good start. But most of the time, the screen stays blank.

I want to write. I am going to write. It's not too late for me.

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