Empty Emotions

Posted by Stephanie Burnett on January 04, 2000 at 16:32:31:

The earth I live on is different than the one you do. I don't see things the way you see them, feel things the way you feel them. I am different. In a world of my own. Lost in a sea of swirling emotions. I close my eyes, but all I see is pain and hate and a never-ending death. I try to smile and go about facing the day, I try to act like I am okay with everything. But things aren't alright, I am tired of lying straight faced, I am tired of hiding who I am to make others happy. I feel so lost, like there is no shore for me to cling to, no gap in these tears for me to dry my eyes. Death seems to be the only answer, but I can't leave. I can't leave this world until I know, I am certain, that things are really gone. That what I had can never be mine again. That the happiness I felt has died, along with my heart. I can't even look in the mirror without rage seeping over me. But why feel this way, why hurt, why let the person that did this to me feel like they matter? So I suppose hiding the hurt, the undying pain, is the path to choose. I guess that I meant to be horrid, to cry like no other. I am meant to feel sorrow, to feel lost and empty for eternity. It is my path, my way of life. Any other way I wouldn't know how to live.

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