Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: bear@topeka.cjnetworks.com (Ray Dillinger)
Date: Thu, 25 Jan 96 19:30:05 EST

        Day 751: My captors continue to torment me with bizarre
dangling objects.  They eat lavish meals in my presence while I
am forced to subsist on dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me
going is the hope of eventual escape -- that, and the satisfaction
I get from occasionally ruining some piece of their furniture.

        I fear I may be going insane.  Yesterday, I ate a houseplant.
Tomorrow I may eat another.

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This was inspired by 3 or 4 lines from somebody's SIG file.  I've
embellished it somewhat.